For an entire month, I stayed quiet and mostly off of Facebook. I figured out quickly a few days into Brian losing his job, that there would be too many pictures and posts that would trigger me on there. When I was ready to post again, mostly because Mackenzie's 18th birthday was coming up, I felt like I needed to post this first. I couldn't just go back to normal life posts, without being a little transparent about what was really going on in our world.
It has been a month since our world took a hard shift. I have stayed off of FB, because honestly, it’s just too hard to see everyone’s “highlight reel” when you’re in the middle of a storm. Satan would really like to win with our family right now—the past month has been—A. LOT. On top of Brian’s position being eliminated and dealing with so many feelings over that, I also lost my Uncle John, we had a little mishap with my car and the garage/living room wall, we have been to multiple dr appointments with one child trying to figure out what is going on (nothing super serious, just stressful)—and just keeping up with all of the normal everyday things with the pressure and unknowns of a huge life change looming overhead, is so much. We know that the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy—he would love nothing more than for us to crumble under the weight of all this. I have to remind myself daily—hourly sometimes—that God isn’t surprised by our circumstances. He is in the fire with us, even if we can’t always feel him. Is what we are experiencing “God’s will?” I don’t know about that—but I know that He has allowed it to happen, and even though it doesn’t feel good, He is still good. I am so thankful that Jesus came that we may have life, and have it abundantly. So no matter what that looks like, we will follow Him! We will find our joy in Him!
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