Fathers & Daughters...Never Say Goodbye

I came across this picture of my Dad and me the other day and I adore it. I was probably around 21 in this picture if I'm guessing right. It's still so strange to me that my Dad is not here. You would think after 6 1/2 years, I wouldn't still feel that way, but I do. I can close my eyes and remember his smell, his expressions, the way his hands looked and felt. God, he would love my kids! I get so sad that they don't get to know him. Especially Jonah...he would have been crazy about his Pa! I was introduced to the song "Fathers & Daughters" a few months ago and I listen to it often. Sometimes it makes me sad, but most of the time I just love thinking about the fact that we may have had to say "see you later," but we never had to say "goodbye." 

If I could catch a star for you
I swear I'd steal them all tonight
To make your every wish come true
and every dream for all your life
But that's not how the story goes
The world is full of perfect plans
If there's a promis that I broke
I know one day you will understand
When times are hard I know you'll be strong
I'll be there in you heart when you'll carry on
Like moonlight on the water, and sunlight in the sky
Fathers and daughters never say goodbye
An Angel I will read to sleep
gave me one dream of my own

So learn to love and spread your wings
and find the one to call your home
When times are hard I know you'll be strong
I'll be there in you heart when you'll carry on
Like moonlight on the water, and sunlight in the sky
Fathers and daughters never say goodbye
When times are hard I know you'll be strong
I'll be there in you heart when you'll carry on
Like moonlight on the water, and sunlight in the sky
Fathers and daughters never say goodbye
Fathers and daughters never say goodbye

Our Artistic Math Olympian

Mackenzie was selected as one of the top three 4th grade students who qualified for the Math Olympics in Computation. We are SO proud of her!! She is extremely smart and learning comes naturally for her. If she gets anything less than an A, she is not happy about it. There have been a few times when her math homework has stumped me. She is also very artistic and impresses us with her artwork all of the time. In February, she was the 4th grade Principal Artist of the Month. (She and Madi were both artist of the month in February...I'm not sure if that was a coincidence or not, but I'm sure glad it happened that way!) The 4th grade hallway and classrooms have been transformed into Narnia for the month of January and February, and she has really enjoyed that. At times, I miss Regent so much that I can hardly stand it. But the girls are both doing well at OCS and seem happy here. God has been so good to us, to continue to provide for their education!

Draw So Cute is still one of Mack's favorite things to do.

And look at this book cover she drew...this was one of my favorite books when I was a little girl!

Mackenzie was recognized for the Math Olympics in Chapel.

Because it's too funny not to share...Mackenzie has been practicing with her new type writer. Ha!

Here are some more art projects she did in 4th grade:

77* in January = Trip to the Park

So thankful for this beautiful 77* January day so Jonah and I could get out of the house and play at the park for a bit. Jonah especially loved feeding the geese! Oh, how I'm going to miss times like this once my little buddy is in school next year. At least it will just be half days...I'm not sure I could handle full days yet!

He has my heart!

This goose was really hungry, I think!

Cutest. Kid. Ever.

I'm Gonna Be Okay

January was just a really hard month for me. It is no secret that I struggle with anxiety, but depression has slowly crept in lately and I have spent way too much time laying in my bed feeling sad. It makes me angry too, that I let it take over at times...I have SO much to be thankful for...Jesus, a husband who loves me completely, three beautiful healthy children, a wonderful Mom and extended family, a warm and pretty home, all of my needs met and then some...and yet, it's so easy to lose focus and let my mind shift to the negative things that make me unhappy. Glass half empty seems to win out with me every time. I am still very much struggling with this move from Tulsa. I miss my life there. And at times, it is suffocating. I know what I'm about to type and my attitude about it is wrong...but I get downright angry that Brian gets to have this awesome job that he loves and he's so happy about...and I had to give up everything to make it happen. I have no job, no friends, no church family...I had to leave the home that I loved, the life that I loved. I just feel sad and lonely here.

I have to fight that feeling of resentment and bitterness daily, because I know its wrong. And I know God is going to make all things new here...He has a plan, and He is the reason we moved here...not because Brian just wanted to...but because we were following God's leading. I know with time, we will find a church home. I will make friends. But man, even after nearly a whole year has passed since we began the transition to OKC from Tulsa, its still SO. HARD.

In addition to all of that, I've been going through some hard things with two of my closest friends. It has nearly undone me, and has been the source of retreating to my bed so much lately. I just keep telling myself, Stay the course...this too shall pass.

Guess what? Depression doesn't win. Sadness doesn't win. Bitterness doesn't win. I'm gonna be okay. But sometimes, it's okay to not be okay. I just can't stay in that place for too long!

And some days, I just need to get up even if I don't feel like it, put on a smile, curl my hair and go to the Buckle! That's sure to make a bad day better...

Yes! I'm trying, I really am!

One of my favorites & a verse that I cling to!

I took this picture one day and sent it to Brian to show him that I was up and my bed was actually made! Opening the blinds and making the bed instantly transforms a dark, depressing room into a pretty, uplifting space.

I thought this was funny...it's pretty true though...I have to pull myself together...too many people are dependent on me. So I put a smile on my face, and away I go...

But sometimes behind the smile is a deep sadness that nobody can see.

Trying to have this perspective!

Amazing Grace...