Simply put...my friends are amazing! I love these three ladies so much. My friendships with each of them are unique and special and I love them dearly! They make me laugh, they listen, they cry with me, and they just make my life better. I can't imagine every day life without them, but thank goodness for technology, right?! After the VERY emotional day we had on Sunday, announcing to the church that we are leaving, I desperately needed some laughter and relaxation. Soooo...watching the Bachelor together was so much fun!! (Don't judge!) Kari even got roses for all of us! The highlight of the night was our Rose Ceremony, where Connie handed roses to Kari & me, and then Jill got the final rose when she got there. Mark was such a good sport...Kari yelled at him to come be Chris Harrison and escort Jill into the rose ceremony. I was seriously laughing so hard I thought I was going to have a real problem! It was hysterical and so fun!
1. Yes, we were acting like we were in Jr. High. 2. No, there was no alcohol involved. 3. We stayed up way too late...I think it was 12:30 when I got home. 4. Laughter and friendship is good for the soul!
I found this note from Kari while I was cleaning out my closet...I couldn't have said it better...I feel the same way!
This was another hysterical moment...there was a movie preview and these women were pulling the back of each others hair to give them an immediate "face lift" for pictures...so Connie & I had to give it a try! So funny...I think I pulled harder than she did!
Today was the day we told our church family that Brian would be resigning and taking a position with the BGCO. I walked into the building at 8:15 crying, and I walked out at 12:15 still crying. I didn't know I could cry so many tears! What an emotional weekend it has been...from telling the kids Friday evening, to telling the church on Sunday...I am completely spent. But also relieved to have it out there. Now its time to face the facts! Here is the FB post I did after church today...
What a bittersweet day...my heart is breaking, yet I am excited about the future that God has for our family.
This morning, Brian resigned as the Youth Pastor of South Tulsa Baptist Church. We have been there for 9 years & have invested our whole lives here. We have so many dear friendships...we have loved deeply. We have celebrated the births of our babies, wept through losses in life, watched our children grow, and to put it simply, we have just loved doing life with the wonderful family we have at STBC. I honestly can't imagine life any other way...to say there will be a huge void is an understatement.
But...God has made it abundantly clear that it is His will for us to make this move to OKC, where Brian will be the Youth Evangelism & Missions Specialist for the Baptist General Convention of Oklahoma. This is not something that we were pursuing, but God opened the door and we are obediently stepping through it.
The selfish side of me has wanted to say "No, God...I don't want to do this. We just built a beautiful home a year ago, our kids are thriving in their school, how can we leave our friends, we love our church, we are comfortable, this is HOME....no...just no! The sacrifice is too great!" But then, when I stop and think about the sacrifice Jesus made for me and for you, on the cross...it is incomparable...so, "Yes, Lord...I choose to willingly follow you, even when it hurts."
I would ask that you pray for our family over the next several months, as this transition happens for us. Brian's last Sunday at STBC will be March 20th, and then he will begin commuting back and forth to OKC until the end of the school year. Our kids just found out about all of this a few days ago. Honestly, telling them about this was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do as a mother. They are troopers though, and I know that God has a perfect plan for each of their little lives. Somehow He will meet every need along the way.
There are so many scriptures that have helped me through this time...here are a few I have clung to....
Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Isaiah 43:19 "Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert."
Isaiah 55:8-9 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
At probably my lowest point through this journey, I turned my radio on (which I never listen to) and the Casting Crowns song "Just Be Held" came on the radio...it was as if God was audibly speaking these words to me.
"Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place" and "Not a tear is wasted, in time you'll understand. I'm painting beauty from the ashes, Your life is in my hands."
We aren't promised that this life will be easy. In fact, the past 6 months have been HARD...going through the beginning phases of a surprise pregnancy & losing the baby, and then being faced with this huge life change has definitely challenged my faith. But, God is faithful and I will come out stronger because of it. In my weakness, He is my strength.
After dropping the bombshell that we were moving on the kids, we ALL needed some fun and happiness...soooo, off to the circus we went! We picked Kinley up and took her with us...Katelyn had a birthday party to go to...and then after the circus, we picked Katelyn up and they spent the night with us. Everything may be changing, but our friendship with the Easterwood's will always remain. The girls all said the sweetest prayers at bedtime! I'm just praying that God will help them through this process, just as He will help me! A few weeks before this, a sweet older man from church named Johnny, asked if we would like tickets for the circus. I immediately said yes when I saw the dates, and I knew that this would be an extra blessing for our kiddos on what was sure to be a sad day.
This is what our house looked like, post-sleepover!
This is a video (audio only) of the girls praying at bedtime...
Okay...we just aren't "Dog People." I like other people's dogs just fine, but I have 3 (well, 4 if you count Brian) human beings to take care of, so the thought of adding an animal to the mix just isn't appealing. Besides, I can't even figure out how to potty train Jonah, let alone a dog! But, the girls (especially Madison) have been BEGGING for a puppy for quite some time now. Madison has even started including it in her prayers. Every single night. So, when all of this discussion about possibly moving to OKC came about, I told Brian that part of the deal would be that we would get the kids a dog. He happily agreed! When we told the kids we were moving, there was a point in the conversation, about 30 minutes in, where everyone was just so sad and the tears just wouldn't stop...I kind of mouthed to him, "Now's the time to play the puppy card!" The tears and sadness came to an abrupt halt and there was happiness all around when they found out we could get a puppy! The bad news is we can't get one until the end of the summer, so they will have to wait a while. I am so glad they have something to be excited about and look forward to though! And, that will come at a good time and hopefully help them get through the transition to a new school in the Fall. It has also been a good distraction, in that the girls are focusing more on the puppy idea than the moving idea. They have been looking at puppies online and saving the pictures to my phone...both of these picture collages of puppies are pictures they have saved! They have decided they want a Jack Russell Terrier...you know, only the most hyper dog on the planet! =0) We will have to wait and see about that! We loaded up right away and went to PetSmart to buy toys for our new puppy...that we won't have for 6 more months!
After many months of praying and finally making the decision to take the BGCO position and move to OKC this summer, it was time to tell our kids. I had been absolutely dreading this...for many nights I just sat in the girls bedroom while they slept and prayed that God would prepare their little hearts and minds to handle this news. I would think things like, "Okay, they have 2 more sleeps before finding out their whole world is going to be turned upside down." We waited until the Friday before we told the church on Sunday, because we didn't want them to have to keep quiet about it for long.
We sat down in the living room and told them we had something to talk about, and Brian started by reading the story of God telling Abraham to leave his home and go to a new land. I didn't know that was how he was going to begin our conversation, but I loved it and thought it was perfect. As he began to tell the girls (Jonah was oblivious) about the new job he was going to have, it took a few minutes for realization to sink in. I think Mackenzie asked "So you aren't going to be the youth pastor at our church anymore?" When she realized that we would be moving and going to a new school and a new church, she started taking big deep breaths like she was hyperventilating and then just burst out in sobs for a long time. I held her and we cried together. Madison cried a lot too, in a quieter way, and I just comforted them the only way I knew how. I wish I could remember everything I said, but I just remember feeling like God gave me the words to say and somehow, we made it through it. Mackenzie was more vocal about the things that made her sad...having to move away from Kinley, not seeing her Art teacher, not getting to do hand bells at church, not getting to do Civil War day at school next year, Daddy not being her youth pastor, having to move to a new house when we just got settled into this one, missing our big pantry...yes, even that! We did have a little laugh in the midst of our tears over that! I think the most heartbreaking part of this for me was when Madison said through her tears, "But I don't make friends very easy." Break. My. Heart. She is definitely more of an introvert than Mackenzie, and I do worry about this for her...but she is precious and sweet and everyone loves her, so I reassured her that she would make a lot of new friends. Somehow, I remember singing "Make new friends, but keep the old, One is silver and the other is gold." As a mother, you never want to subject your children to anything that will be painful or sad for them. But, I know that since this is God's plan for Brian and me, it is also His plan for Mackenzie, Madison and Jonah. We tried to talk through all of their concerns and reassure them that although it will be sad to move, everything will be okay. I made sure they knew we would still get to do things like SMAK and Kids Camp, and that we would always be close, close friends with Kinley and Katelyn, since that was their biggest concern about moving. Mrs. English said something to me earlier in the week that has really stuck with me...she said "I'm sure Mackenzie will be fine since her security is mostly in her family's unity. She is a precious girl and I love, love having her in my class." That is so true...we made sure that the girls understood that everything else may be changing, but our family will always be together no matter where we live. We tried to point out all of the positive things about this move...#1 being that we will be closer to G-Ma and we will get to "live" with her for a while this summer! We also told them all of the exciting things about spending summers at Falls Creek...I mean, what kid wouldn't love driving around in a golf cart, drinking ICEE's, and spending week after week at Falls Creek?!
After talking and crying for what seemed like a long time, I kind of gave Brian the nod to pull out the puppy card... At the beginning of this process, I told him if we were going to move the kids, part of the deal was that we would give in and get them a puppy. So, when the sadness was just too much, he said, "Guess what?! After we move, we are going to get you a puppy!" Well, the atmosphere in the room changed quickly...they were SO EXCITED! In fact, we have kind of laughed because now they aren't telling people we are moving, they are telling them we're getting a puppy. I think it's just their way of coping with the sadness, and let's face it...we all need something exciting to look forward to when going through tough things, right?
We figured we needed to do something fun after dropping such a bombshell on them, so we went to PetSmart, had dinner at Braum's, picked Kinley up and went to the circus, and then picked Katelyn up afterwards and had a sleepover at our house. That was healing for us all, I think, to just be together.
My heart is both heavier and lighter now that the kids know about this big life change. Heavier, because now they carry the burden and sadness too, and you never want that for your children. Lighter, because I don't have to dread telling them anymore, and now we can face reality together. Moving will be hard, but we are in this together! We are going to love and support and pray them through this, and trust that God has great things in store for us in OKC!
February was a good, but hard month. This FB post I did pretty much sums up the month of February. "Madison prayed at bedtime and thanked God that I gave her food to eat to make her strong and healthy tonight...she had Captain Crunch cereal for dinner. Mom of the Year Award, right here! ðŸ˜#justoneofthosedays#notevenmondayyet#itsgoingtobealongweek#cerealfordinnerwhynot
I feel like we have sort of been in "survival mode" lately. Life is good, but hard in the sense that we have a huge life change ahead of us. We were back and forth during the month of February, praying that God would show us if this new position for Brian was what He had in store for us. Finally, after much prayer and struggle, we decided to take a leap of faith and do it. Here are some of our every day moments during February!
Cold weather calls for lots of movies & cuddles on the couch!
Celebrating Connie's birthday...I don't know what I would've done without my friends these past few months. I love them so!
G-Ma came up and helped me decorate my big Valentine's cookie order one weekend. The girls went to spend time with Grandma & Grandpa Baldwin, but Jonah had to stay at home because we discovered that (we're pretty sure) he found and chewed up one of my pills. EEEKKK!!! Talk about instant panic and totally stressed out Momma... He was perfectly fine, but it landed him a weekend at home with us while we did cookies.
We went to dinner at Napa Flats and Jonah got to decorate his own pizza.
This was too funny...I think my caption on this picture went something like this...
"Aaaand, I'm pretty sure this is when G-Ma decided she was full! Why does everyone else's food always taste better? LOL!"
This girl has got some serious style!
Love my new coat!
Madison fits right in with these Beanie Boo's, with her "big eyes!"
These eyelashes...
She's just a tad too big for that tricycle! It was hilarious watching her ride it around though!
This was a Sunday morning during ETC...Jonah can get it on that tricycle! I didn't know he could ride so fast! =0)
At 3 1/2, the girls both could have colored this picture mostly inside the lines...this is Jonah's coloring method. Should I be concerned?!
That tongue...
I love completing Shutterfly books! I was so excited to get our most recent Disney trip done. Looking back through these 4 trips we have done with our kids, I can't wait for trip #5!!!
Over. And Over. And Over. Funny every time!
Children's Choir fun with Ms. Janice!
Precious note from Madison!
When you're a boy, is there anything better than digging in dirt? (Even if it is a gopher mound!)
Can't believe its time to get ready for her 7th birthday! Our puppy loving girl!
"Look Mommy, it's his Daddy!"
Sweet Dreamers
No wonder it took her forever to get in the shower tonight!
Mack is going to wear this pretty dress for Oklahoma Day. It's so special because Grandma Jean made it for G-Ma to wear when she was around Mackenzie's age.
This was so very sweet...Joy McLaughlin brought me this sweet note and Jen Hatmaker book one day when I was having an especially hard time with the upcoming move.
This is a day I will never forget...I picked Mack up from school one Friday and we went home and told the kids we were going to be moving to OKC. As we were driving home, I couldn't stop thinking about how her life was about to be forever changed, and these were the last few moments of "normal" before her world was tipped upside down.
Regardless of where we live, one thing will never change and that is my love for this sweet child of mine!
Just gonna tell it like it is...I had some sad, depressing days during February. Watching Fuller House on Netflix made me happy though! That's a total blast from the past!
Love getting to have lunch with the girls at school!
Waiting in Dr. Groves office for an eye appointment.
Oops..."curler" bead catastrophe!
Mackenzie has discovered a YouTube channel called "Draw So Cute" and she is constantly using it to draw all sorts of things. I was amazed at this unicorn and fairy that she drew!
I thought this was hilarious...this is something going around on FB...you put your name in and it generates these things about you. Mine couldn't have been more wrong! LOL!
