God Sees JESUS...But Do They?

I had this thought the other day...I am SO GLAD that when God looks at me, he sees JESUS! That truth is something that has been engraved in me from the time I was saved at 7 years old. But it's not something I stop and think about all of the time. I mean, let's be real friends...we are ALL wretched sinners...completely incapable of standing before a Holy God on our own...and yet...knowing the worst about me, God still sent his only Son to die for me...He is the one who loves me the most! Yes, THAT is Amazing Grace! My heart is overwhelmed with thankfulness and humility as I sit here thinking about it. It's been a hard year for me. I have found myself in a place where I have been angry at the plans God has laid out for our family, and I've landed in it with a rebellious heart and attitude. I would like to say that I'm past it, but it is still a daily struggle for me. I think this week has been a bit of a wake-up call for me...it's time to get up out of the ditch...it's time to stop pretending... 

Let's be honest...look at this picture of me...I am pretty good at putting a smile on my face and looking like I have it all together for the world. That very thing makes me feel like such a hypocrite sometimes...when on the inside, I'm a hot mess. I have found myself wondering if God can even hear me...if I even know Him...if He has abandoned me...and yet I KNOW those are lies that the enemy loves to whisper in my ear to keep me in a place of defeat. I'm sure glad God doesn't give up on me. I'm REALLY thankful that my salvation isn't dependent on my actions or thoughts. And I am so grateful that even when God sees me at my very worst, He loves me the most and says I am worth it. One more thing that kind of slammed me as I was thinking through this...YES, God sees Jesus when he looks at me, because I am covered by his blood...but what about my kids? My husband? My family and friends? Complete strangers? Do THEY see Jesus when they look at me? Hmm...OUCH...that one stings a little. No. A LOT. 

Lord,

I am so unworthy.

And You are SO worthy.

Forgive my complacent spirit.

Take my heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh.

Your ways are not always my ways. 

Help me to trust and not doubt.

May I fix my eyes on You and what You are about,

Instead of myself and the way I think things should be.

Fill me with attributes that come from You...

Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness and Self Control. 

When others look at me, 

May they see You.

Amen.