Well, I'm definitely letting my true feelings come out in the title of this blog post...as my Poppa would say, "it's just the honest-to-God-truth-about-it." In many ways, I do hate Father's Day...because I can't hug my dad, call to tell him I love him, and buy him shirts that he probably would never wear. Instead, I have to go to a cemetery and cry over my dad's grave. I have to close my eyes to remember the way he laughed, smelled, even looked like, the way he felt like when he hugged me... Today, it makes me angry. I get it...bad things happen to good people because we live in a fallen world, and God works all things together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose. blah, blah, blah... I KNOW. But I still don't have my dad and I don't like it. And guess what...those feelings are okay. Healthy even, I'm pretty sure.
This year Father's Day seemed to be harder for me than the ones before...I'm not really sure why. I just know that a few days before, as I was coming back from Falls Creek I drove right by the cemetery...willed myself to keep driving, and then turned around because I just couldn't stand to drive by two days before Father's Day and not "tell" my Dad "Happy Father's Day." I didn't anticipate a total meltdown over it, but sometimes that just needs to happen I guess.
The "But I Love It Too" part comes in here...I love Father's Day because even though my dad isn't here now, I can look back and celebrate the wonderful man that he was and thank God that he was mine! And, first and foremost, I have a heavenly Father who loves me and will never leave me.
On the morning of Father's Day, I had to run into Wal-Mart to grab a few things and I reached in and grabbed a Diet Coke out of the little fridge by the check-out counter...you can imagine the absolute shock on my face when I looked down and saw "Share a Diet Coke with...MARK" on my bottle. I mean...really?! There are literally thousands of names printed on those bottles. REALLY?! I love how God works...He knew that I needed that out of the ordinary reminder that my dad is still part of my life, even though I don't physically get to see him anymore. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, so I sort of did both! I don't think my dad ever drank Diet Coke, but I am certain one thing is true...he shared this one with me on Father's Day...and I loved it!
Let's just be real...Diet Coke and Ding Dongs make EVERYTHING better! =0)
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