When Shadows Come...

Depression is a hard thing to understand and an even harder thing to talk about. Especially when, on the outside, it seems as if there is absolutely nothing in your world that qualifies you to struggle with it. But over time I have learned that it is a very real, physical problem. I mean, lets just lay it out there...every single person on the planet is depressed at times. God made us with feelings that go up and down. But at times, and for some people, our bodies and minds take it to a whole different level. I have always struggled with anxiety, but up until recently, I would not have said depression was a big issue for me. I still have a hard time admitting that it is, actually...I mean, look at my world...I am a believer in Jesus, my husband adores me, I have 3 healthy, beautiful, amazing children, a wonderful home and always enough money for all our needs and many wants, an awesome mom and supportive extended family, our kids go to an amazing private school thanks to financial help from others, I am healthy and (sort of) fit, I could go on...the point is that looking in from the outside, there doesn't seem much to be depressed about. But over the past few weeks...I've been really depressed. Why?? Well, I still fight some resentment over moving from Tulsa two years ago...I thought I was past that, but it has crept back in. My beautiful 11 year old girl has made several comments that she thinks she's fat, and it absolutely has broken my heart and made me feel like a failure as a mom. Her sister, who is 8, has also expressed these thoughts. If only I were a better mother... Then there's Jonah who is almost 6 years old and still having potty training issues. The end of the school year has been hard. When my kids struggle, I struggle. I let the enemy whisper things like "You're not good enough. If only you were better..." I'm not the wife I should be...I'm not walking with the Lord like I should be...The thought of spending 8 weeks at camp is completely draining and overwhelming...It is still a struggle to find our place at church...I am constantly stressed about money. Those are some of the reasons...
Struggle...Sad...Anxious...Worried...Overwhelmed...Heaviness...Burdened...

And I KNOW I have to listen to the voice of truth...the one that says "My yoke is easy and my burden is light." The one that says "You are enough," and "find your rest in Me!" 

I know that shadows come at times...I just have to choose to step out of the shadows and into the light. I am OKAY...but this is part of my story right now, and since I blog about everything, well...here it is. The good, the bad, and the ugly, right?
One thing I know...God is faithful and He will never leave me! Here are a few verses that help me during times like this.
1 Peter 5:6-7 "Humble yourselves therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you."
John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you will have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."