Mackenzie's 5th Birthday Letter

So every year, I write a letter to each of the girl's on their birthday. I have really been a little sad about Mackenzie turning 5...it is such a big milestone in her life. Her "preschool" years are coming to an end, and I am just not ready for that to happen yet. Well, I don't think I would ever be ready for that to happen. She is increasingly becoming more independent from me, and while I love watching her grow into her own person, the reality is that she doesn't need me as much anymore. These past 5 years have been the best of my life! Being a Momma is the biggest blessing I have ever been given. So, here goes...Mackenzie's 5th Birthday Letter:My sweet Mack,

5 years old...such a big milestone in your life! You continue to become such a beautiful little girl, inside and out. My heart is torn, because I am just not ready for you to be 5! G-Ma reminded me of the night before I turned 5 years old...I looked at her and asked her, "Momma, when will I be 4 again?" I'm pretty sure she burst into tears right on the spot. Well, I think you even topped that story a few days ago! After I was up with you all night because you weren't feeling well, you said, "Mommy, when I'm 5, I won't need you anymore." Oh, my stars...just break my heart, little girl! You weren't being mean about it at all...you were actually just referring to how I had to rock you to sleep when you were sick. I knew what you meant, and I also know that while the ways that you need me will change as you grow up, you will always need me. And, I will always be here for you, sweet girl! I know that because I am 29 years old & I still need my Momma! A few minutes after that heart-wrenching line was dropped, you said, "Momma, can I tell you something?" (That's your favorite thing to say these days.) I said, "Yes!" and you said, "I love you." in this sweet little voice. Then, a few minutes later, while I sat rocking you, you said it again..."Momma, can I tell you something? I REALLY love you!" It was such a sweet moment that I will never forget! Then a few minutes later you said it again..."Momma, can I tell you something? I really miss Pa." and I said, "I know, baby, so do I." This past year of your life, while you were 4, was full of many joyful times & also very hard times. Your Pa loved you so very much & I want you to always remember that. You were very special to him! Always remember that we have an "invisible string" of love, connecting us to him, even though he is not here with us anymore.

In your bedtime prayers tonight, you prayed, "Thank you for making me." I loved that & prayed along with you..."Yes, Lord, thank you for making Mackenzie Grace Baldwin! She is truly one of your most beautiful creations."

I have felt led to pray a blessing over your life & this is what the Lord gave me..."May the Lord bless you & keep you, May the Lord make his face shine upon you & be gracious to you, May the Lord turn his face upon you & give you peace." (Numbers 6:24-26) I know that God has a perfect plan for your life & I am so glad that he has entrusted me to be your Momma. I look forward to walking through each step of life with you. May the next year be full of fun, happines & joy for you! And most of all, I pray that you will continue to love and know God more every day.

5 years ago when I saw you for the first time, I knew my life was changed forever. If I could pick from all of the boys & girls in the whole world, I would pick YOU!!! 3 things I want you to know: 1. God loves you! 2. You are very special! 3. I love you!

Happy 5th Birthday, Mackers!

Love,

Momma

P.S. I'm sorry that I taught you to bite your nails. One day you were doing it & I told you to stop and you said, "Well, you do it." ....uh,well....I guess I can't expect you to do something that I don't do myself! That is a great example of me being a bad example. =0)