Wow, I am so full of emotion tonight. I don't know what to do with it, so I am going to blog about it I guess...
We are coming to the end of the school year, and my heart is just so sad that Mackenzie is already finishing Pre-K. How did that happen? And where was I? Oh, how I hope I have made the most of every moment and soaked it all in. It is becoming more and more evident to us how much Mackenzie hates saying "good-bye's." Her little heart just breaks, and it is so sad. I have to admit...I don't like them either. Tomorrow is the last day for one of her teachers, and I am seriously so sad about it. You become really attached to these people who have such an influence on your children and they become a part of your family. Not to mention all of the little friends she has made...most of them have been together for the past two years. I have explained to Mackenzie that she will be at a new school next year, with new friends, and she has cried about it both times we have talked about it. Yes, some of them will still be in her Sunday School class at church, but many are not members of our church and will go their separate ways. A few years back, when we were trying to decide whether or not to do ELP, I had no idea that it would be such a wonderful blessing to our family. Mackenzie has truly thrived...she has learned so much and made wonderful friends over the past two years. I have loved the security blanket of having her right there where Daddy is just down the hall, in an environment that she was familiar and comfortable with. I am so sad to think that i wont get to walk her into the church for elp next year. We have prayed and prayed about the decision of what to do about Kindergarten and we feel like sending her to Regent is the best thing. Yes, it will be an investment, but I can't think of a single thing I would rather spend $ on than the well-being and education of my children. The girls came home from school today extremely tired and irritable. Mixed with a trip to Lowe's and trying to paint their bedroom, it was a bad combination...my nerves were shot and bedtime couldn't come soon enough. I wish I could say that I was patient and loving tonight, but that wasn't really the case. After they were asleep in their beds, I went into their room & just sat and looked at them....such beautiful little girls that are growing up way too fast. Oh, Lord let me be patient and kind....give me a heart like Yours to love my children with. May I not take one day for granted or wish time away.
Thinking about this new baby boy on the way, makes me think about Mackenzie as a newborn...it really feels like just yesterday that I held her for the first time. Time is so fleeting. You think you have forever, that things will never change, and then you blink and she is 5 and a half years old. It is the same with Madison...maybe even more so, because she has always had to share us with Mackenzie. How is it possible that she is 3 years old?! I think part of my emotion tonight is coming from how hard the past four months have been for me. This pregnancy has really taken a toll on me, physically and mentally. I am thankful for this baby, and can't wait to meet him, but I also feel like I have missed out on the girls' and have been in "survival mode." I am rambling, I know...but I do feel better & I think I can sleep now!