Out of all of the days involving Mackenzie graduating and moving her to college, the day before we actually moved her in there was by far the hardest for me. If I'm being honest, I laid in bed half the day crying so hard I couldn't even function. Why? Because I knew that after today...everything would be different. Up until this point, Mackenzie has only known our home as her home. She was fixing to spread her wings and fly. To take her first real step toward independence from us. I really have tried so hard to hold it together and just enjoy this season...but this day was so hard. I was really doing okay until I walked by all of her stuff piled upstairs and saw the Toy Story characters laying in the floor...now they have been passed to Jack...but first they were Mackenzie's. This totally set me off and sent me to my bed.
I still remember sitting in the movie theater by myself at the end of Toy Story 3 in 2010 (when Mackenzie was THREE) and bawling my eyes out. I actually made Brian take the kids out of the theater so I could sit there and cry by myself. Watching Andy leave his toys and his home behind and go to college was a reality check that someday that would be us...and somehow, here we are already. Mind. Blown. I know this is how its supposed to go--we raise them to leave--but wow it is painful.
Mackenzie, I hope you know that I've had the time of my life raising you. Our house will always be your home.
Bedtime prayers...my heart...I can't imagine not having her at home for prayers every night. God, please help me get used to this new normal.
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