"See You Soon, Dad"

I really don't even know where to begin this post, but here goes...

August 14th, 2011...the day that everything changed...

How do you say "goodbye" to your dad? The man who held you as a newborn, helped you learn to walk as a toddler, played with you as a child, taught you to play ball and ride a bike, endured your teenager years, taught you to drive a car, watched you graduate High School & go to college, walked you down the aisle to get married, held your babies when they were born, and spoiled them rotten...a man who is a part of your very being...oh, my heart is breaking. I know this isn't a "forever" goodbye, because I will be with my dad again in heaven, but it is so hard to imagine life without him here. I can only think about one day at a time right now. "How blessed I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."

Before he died, my dad gave me such a gift...just a few hours before he was unable to communicate with us, he sat down with my mom, brother, and me and we got to say goodbye to him. I will never forget it as long as I live. It was the saddest, sweetest time of my life. He told me how proud he was of me & how much he loved me. I was so thankful for the chance to tell him how much I loved him too, and that he was the best dad I could have ever asked for. I told him thank you for being such a wonderful "Pa" to our girls, and assured him that they would grow up knowing about their Pa, who loved them very much. I know how hard it was for him to have that time with us, but I am so thankful for his selflessness. He comforted us before he was even gone. I really don't have words to explain what that was like, but it was precious. My dad was grieving with us because he knew how hard it would be for us. He said, "I'm the lucky one." because he was getting to go into the presence of Jesus, and we had to stay behind to learn to live without him.
In the last hours of his life, our family gathered around my dad and shared stories, we laughed, we wept, we prayed...I really don't understand why God chose to take my dad from this world, but I have to trust that His will is perfect. Before this experience, I had heard people talk about being with a loved one when they died, but I didn't understand it. I always thought that would be something that I could never do...but I was wrong. Around 7:30 on Sunday night, August 14th, we could tell that dad's breathing was slowing down. My mom, Grandma Shaw, Clint & Abigail, and Brian & I, gathered around his bed and held his hands as he stepped into eternity. I don't think I can adequately describe what it was like. If ever I have felt the presence of angels, it was then. When my Mom asked if there was anything she could do for him, my Dad said, "Just stay with me," and that is exactly what she did. I have never seen a more beautiful expression of love & example of what marriage is really supposed to look like. "In sickness & health" has a whole new meaning to me now. My sweet, heartbroken Momma placed her hand on my Dad's cheek and spoke words of encouragement for him to "Reach out, and take his hand. It's okay. That's it. Go to Jesus." And that's just what he did. One second, he was with us...the next, he was with our Lord. Oh, how we wept for ourselves...and rejoiced for him, that he was no longer sick, but completely healed and in a new, perfect body. He went straight from the arms of those who loved him the most: his wife, mother, and children; into the hands of the One who loves him the very most, and into the hands of his dad, Grandma Jean, G.G., and so many other loved ones who were in heaven waiting to welcome him. What a reunion that must have been! I really believe my Dad was at complete peace with dying. It was almost like he knew it was coming. I will never forget the last time I saw him at home, exactly one week before he died...I was leaving to go home on Sunday morning and he came out to the garage to put air in one of my tires. He was so weak & out of breath, but he was still taking care of his girl...he hugged me for a second or two longer than normal and said, "Hope to see you soon." This life is but a vapor...so, Dad, I will see you again soon!

Looking back on the last 12 days, I can truly say that God has literally carried me through this fire we have been in. I have been completely overwhelmed & humbled by the outpouring of love from friends & family...texts, phone calls, visits, facebook posts, food...God must be so pleased with His church...to all who have reached out to us and shared in our grief, you have truly been the hands and feet of Jesus. Thank you & Bless you!

Now, we are left to figure out what the new "normal" is and how to continue on in this life without my Dad. While we have known this day was probably coming in the near future, it happened so fast & we could never have been prepared for it. While we are heartbroken, we cling to the fact that we will one day be with my Dad again, FOREVER! Praise God for that! My Dad left us with complete assurance of his salvation. We do not grieve as those who have no hope, because our hope is found in Jesus Christ, who died on the cross for us and paid the penalty for our sins, so that we could have eternal life in Heaven, with Him! How undeserving we are, and how great is our God!

2 Timothy 4:7-8 is the Scripture verse that came to my mind as I was thinking about my Dad..."I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing." Praise God that my Dad got his crown of righteousness! He fought as hard as he could here in this life, and he finished the race.

Here are some additional scripture verses that we cling to:

Lamentations 3:22-23 "Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."

Revelation 21:4 "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

Psalm 68:5 "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling."

Mathew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

I am sure this is the first of many posts about my Dad. I write this to honor his memory, express my feelings, and share with others how God is carrying us through this. I am so thankful and blessed to have had such a wonderful father here on this earth, and I take joy in knowing that I also have a Heavenly Father who loves me and will always be with me.