Sometimes Life is HARD

Life is full of highs and lows. The reality is that if we never experienced the lows, we wouldn't be able to really appreciate the highs. 

On December 12th, we had the wind knocked out of us when we found out some very hurtful things that had been happening within our extended family. Life altering, devastating things. Things that I am not going to write about right now, other than to say that God is our refuge & our strength. A very present help in trouble. What we are experiencing is like the death of a loved one, but its not a physical death. Its worse in some ways...a complete betrayal and the realization that someone you love has lost their integrity, and it is costing them everything...including their relationship with your family...and its not something we can share with many, so we are grieving silently, yet going through the motions of life as if nothing is wrong. But God is close to the broken hearted, and we are trusting Him with this season.

Over the past few months, Brian has really struggled with his health, the same way he did back in the summer of 2016. We finally have figured out what we are dealing with...an autoimmune disease called POTS...Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. It has to do with blood flow and blood pressure, and can really make life difficult. It is an incurable disease, but can be regulated with beta blockers and other kinds of medication. It is also very much stress-induced, which explains much of why Brian has had such a bad flare-up recently, given what we are walking through. As his wife, it is so hard for me to watch him struggle through this. I want to fix it, but there's really nothing I can do, other than pray that God will see us through.

I know that God is there when we're standing tall on the mountaintops and when we're barely holding our heads up in the valleys. We will emerge from this valley with His help...

On the mountains, I will bow my life

To the one who set me there

In the valley, I will lift my eyes to the one who sees me there

When I'm standing on the mountain aft, didn't get there on my own

When I'm walking through the valley end, no I am not alone!

You're God of the hills and valleys!

Hills and Valleys!

God of the hills and valleys

And I am not alone!